(title is a lyric from St. Vincent)
Outside, the first layer of sticking snow covers all the horizontal surfaces and clings to those half between up and down and side to side, like my 45 degree roof. Inside my body, all the connections adjust to the new cold, another 10-20 degrees lower than it has been previously, and my eyes contract with the new light reflected by all the whiteness out there. I feel the snow and winter sink deeply inside of me. It's an intimate feeling, my thirty-second rendition of this in a life of living in Wisconsin - except for the one year I was in the south of France for their farce version of "winter".
Rich foods fill my blood with the fats and minerals needed to keep warm from the inside out for the next three months. Others complain, but I look forward to the sustained spaciousness of this new visual world, and the chance to turn inward - mentally, emotionally, physically - and restore.
Dear Miriam, Excuse the formal greeting but I write it with full consciousness of the word dear! I have not seen you or others from Madison Shambhala connections in some time. This is Crazy Marj, wearer of pink pants and I hope a mostly OK memory for you from the many times in contemplative writing. I am feeling so much like you have described about the winter, that it is good to have this time as it is, going inward and just DOING winter (I guess that's like another possibility beyond resisting it). I have read other of your recent posts and very wholly send good wishes for you, including my wish that you continue in healing from your past. I am one who has been so less than perfect (not that perfect is a goal, but, well, I hope you know my gist here!) but I'm fully present with sincere heart saying I wish you strength to continue healing. I really believe that time, and maybe especially this kind of wintry time, offers much for healing. It's good you are so aware, write what's inside, and share. I miss you, Miriam, and send love. --still crazy, still pinkly-clothed Marj
ReplyDelete-P.S., I have had some good results with Reichian breathwork and massage for trauma; but also I applaud your openly saying that some folks really do need various combinations in therapy and treatment, very personal ones and that they do include medication sometimes. <3
Marj! I missed this reply! Sorry I didn't see it! Good to hear from you and glad to have gotten your card awhile back!
ReplyDeleteLove back to you,
Miriam