Last Minute Emotions

Yesterday, I had an intense Hakomi therapy session. By the time I reached the evening, and I was getting ready to go out to socialize, I was frozen. I felt "ok" most of the day, and didn't see this freezing up coming. It was clear I had some processing to do, and couldn't go out. But why then? Why at the last minute?

Passing Storms

"Apollo" Sculpture at Museum Boijmans Van Beuningen in Rottedam, Netherlands

My check engine light came on last night. As my brakes have been softening and my rear driver seat belt won't pull out, I figured this was the sign to finally bring my car in for repairs. My mechanic used to be just blocks away and is now located out by East Towne, a few miles of mall hell away. They have no drivers on the weekend to take us back into town. So I checked out the buses.

"Why don't you pop your bike in the back of your car and bike home?" Dylan asked, supportively but also uncharacteristically. We don't bike a lot, though we are in such a bike-friendly city. I am a bit embarrassed about it, actually, even ashamed. The seat on my bike, purchased a couple of years ago, meant to be super comfy, hurts my back. I need a new seat and somehow never seem to get it, so then I don't bike, afraid I will hurt my back. Then I feel bad about not biking, though I bus and walk nearly everywhere, save the mall.