Watching My Speed

Well hello there.
It's been a few months.
Where have I been? All over. Too run down. Too occupied. Also happily engaged, but overall, too too much, and too fast.

So I am back now. Memoir Mind has a post this week, too, and I am going to work at posting again regularly. So hi. Nice to see you again (or meet you the first time).

This week I've been thinking about transitions and expectations, and about speed and pacing. The image above comes from my annual coaching program, Return, and is an example of the weekly forum where folks can post on their intentions.

For me, I most recently noticed this in my transition from non-exercise to exercise.

Last year I learned to run again, and really (gulp) enjoyed it! Someone I was running with joked that she never thought of me as a runner - I seemed too, well, cerebral for that. I laughed too - though I now understand those two to not be in competition with each other, I was raised with that belief, too. I had intellectual parents and one older brother who thought and talked a lot and didn't exercise; I had another older brother who ran and did triathlons but didn't do a lot of philosophizing.

Where did I fit in?


Chubby and brainy, so clearly not an exerciser, or so I thought and others thought.

The thing, is, not only do I actually really love exercise, I NEED it. I struggle with medium-strength depression and full-strength panic/anxiety at times, and I *know* exercise helps, not to mention helps me feel more in my body and stronger. But for years I was trying to go from my couch/desk/chair reading/studying/writing directly into exercise. And it just wouldn't work. I would dread it and put it off, and continue to hide in non-physical-activity.

Then, a few months ago, knowing I had a dance class to go to in an hour, feeling some fear about it, I got up and did the dishes and a bit of vacuuming. Not that I don't have resistance to those, but they were some kind of activity I could *do* that was immediate and less intimidating than dance class. Sure enough, I was more easily able to transition from dishes to dance than Decartes to dance.

I don't always remember this. Wisdom, as I am sure you have noticed, tends to come and go intermittently (though I don't think it goes anywhere, but our connection to it fades and strengthens). But when I do, which is more and more often, if I can get myself to a lower threshold physical activity (eg laundry/dishes/vacuuming) in preparation for a higher threshold thing (eg exercise), I am more likely to do the more active thing I really need.

I've been thinking of this as "not trying to go from 0 to 60 so quickly," though of course, at top speed, I run more like 5mph than 60mph. But you get the drift.

This has made me curious in what other areas I need a "warm up" - in bigger transitions, like from a period of being in Karuna Training contemplative psychology to graduating into a post-Karuna Training state; medium transitions, like finishing one essay and starting another one; and tiny transitions, like finishing a contemplative writing class and moving on to whatever activity I wish to do next. On all these levels, I've discovered I need (and likely have always needed, but can't ignore now that I am aging) more time than I would like to cede to change speed, pace, and direction.

Where do you need to insert time to adjust? Another activity to bridge two less-alike activities?
Even if you don't post here, consider the role of pausing for yourself, and pacing to let yourself catch up with yourself.