Tuesday, November 22, 2016

You Fucked Up? Be kind, then, re-commit.

The more work I do with folks one-on-one and in small groups around accountability - not to mention working with myself - the more I've found this distillates slogan to be the core needed approach.

Didn't work out when you said you would? Be kind, re-commit. Haven't been meditating as often as you'd like? Be kind. Re-commit. Spent the afternoon on Facebook instead of cleaning the house? Be kind then re-commit.

If you are nice with yourself but don't recommit, you won't have accountability. If you punish yourself, then re-commit, you won't want to do it (damned if you do or don't). So both parts are needed.

This is actually a macroscopic version of what we do in meditation. In meditation, if your attention has drifted off the breath and onto a passing thought, for instance, how you decide to come back is crucial. Are you cruel to yourself, beating yourself up for making a simple mistake? Getting distracted? Are you a jerk because you can't believe you did it again? Do you have the view that when you aren't following your breath, you aren't meditating?

The view can be like this: the whole thing is meditation.
The attitude can be like this: its human to get off the track.
Your approach can be like this: Ok, that happened, now let's do it again.

It's simple, but not easy.

That's where support comes in.

Between the inspiration of Jeffrey Davis (originator of the great slogan Do It Together) and my dedicated colleague, Saundra Goldman (who has been running a Continuous Practice group for over a year now on Facebook), I have developed more and more as an individual creative coach. This year I am launching Return: A New Year's Intention Setting Course, an online chance in December/January and beyond to get support in your intentions. A group to help you keep the right view, to fuck up, then be kind, then re-commit. Together. Not alone.

Sign up now - December edition begins December 1, January begins January 1.

And if you aren't going to participate, aren't interested in that offer, please consider the possibility of being kind. Just an option. Because being an asshole to yourself when you mess up isn't working as well as you think it is, right? Not if you are being honest with yourself.

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