Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Somehow, it feels like I am on vacation, though I have 246 un-dealt-with emails in my inbox and lots of final papers to grade and final grades to give. The tightness I have felt for weeks between my shoulder blades, which radiated in particular out on my left side into my tricep, is loosened, almost non-existent. My summer, still working, but on a totally different schedule, rolls out in front of me; Tuesday night farmer's market, summer school, bike rides, retreats both attended and taught. Somehow expansive days in which I do nothing but write and a small amount of paperwork really do balance out being gone for weekends on end and a couple of whole weeks of my life filled with 12 year old's poetry.
This last weekend, we spent a chunk of time really breaking down our kitchen. With a borrowed sawsall we chopped up our counter and cut out old ratty cabinets in the kitchen. Out came laundry poles uselessly parallel to each other in the backyard. Weeds and dandelions, invasive grasses, crumpled chunks of concrete: even unusused shoes, too-tight pants packed up and given or put away. All done. Give us some space to let the chaos of summer run loose in our house.
For now it feels good to not know for sure, to be unmoored. Out of that chaos can come creativity. I'm not talking drunken day-wasting chaos, but the natural dis-order of things as they are. I invite it all in, move around in our space and re-inspire me, give me my breath back.