it takes nothing to worry...
i imagine all the insight, the innovation necessary to teach and although it certains takes no more of either than my last job did, i somehow worry more about it. worrying about nothing. it is not so much that there is nothing to worry about, but that i seem to worry most when there is nothing there. the existential issues - not the logistics, but after all it seems like the logistics come down to existential issues most of the time.
problem solving between humans in intimate situations? check.
being present when the shit hits the fan in myriad situations? check.
in fact, teaching supports all of these things, plus my own writing, in both professional and personal ways. yet i need to be hard on myself for something (lest i get truly unruly bored) so there we are, a little worry takes me a long way.
right behind the worry, true to the core of the teachings i have received and i am now passing on, is usually some true nugget, the source of the strength i need to fight my own concerns at their root, manifesting as a tool, as a poem, as an insight. the worry that the insight won't come, covering the insight itself. how many traditions have discussed this, time and time again? too many to discuss here. suffice it to say i appreciate the human effort, the leagues of literature wherein this has been discovered again and again as if it is something new every time, because, well, it is something new, every time.
amazing what a shelf life nothing has.